We gotta talk about what you’re doing this weekend. I need to hear what you’re making, and who you’re rooting for…blah blah, we’ll get to it. Before we delve in, I need you watch this video. It’s important. Do me a solid and watch it, please.
It’s going to make you laugh. It might even make your day. And it’s totally going to make you fall in love with Kristen Bell.
I’m sort of obsessed with her reaction to meeting a baby sloth. I dunno. I think it might the funniest, most endearing thing I’ve ever seen. And I’ll be honest, it also sorta scares me. That’s not a normal person’s reaction, you know? But I dig it. I dig her craziness. Baby sloths can make someone crazy. I get it.
You know what you don’t need? A guacamole recipe. I dunno.
Maybe this is me being a total brat, but honestly, even if you don’t know how to boil water, the last thing you need is a recipe that involves mashing, folding and adding salt. That’s just silly talk.
I lamented for a long time about sharing this situation you see pictured because why do you need this?! You can do this without me. Who am I to tell you how to make your guacamole.
But, I love it. So I figured that maybe you would, too. And maybe you never thought to put pomegranate seeds in guacamole. And maybe you’ll make it and share it with someone. That’d make my day.
So here I am. Just a girl…with a bowl of guacamole, asking you all to mash up some ripe avocados, mix ‘em with some chopped up cucumbers and pomegranate seeds. It’s way more special this way! Refreshing, sweet, lime-y…special!
I did not. Until last week when I had dinner at Lou’s, this wine bar in a random strip mall next to an even more random laundromat. In other news, I’ve been pronouncing the word “laudromat” like “laundry-mat…” up until, oh I dunno, like, yesterday.
Not sure if you knew this, but in Los Angeles things like kitchen floors that aren’t made from formica, a washer & dryer in your unit, and a parking space for your vehicle, are all considered luxuries. I have two out of the three and I feel lucky and rich.
Pig Candy. Let’s go back to that.
It’s really special. I’d even go as far as to say that it’s important.
Phew! I didn’t mean to be away this long. I missed you all!
I figured I’d take MLK day off, and then a recipe failure happened. And then I had to jump on a plane to head back east to bury myself in the work that I’ve been putting off for weeks. Procrastination, I hate you.
But good news: I’m here, working diligently and it’s awesome. I’ve been in this really awful anxious mood for the past few weeks, so all this doing, writing and completing feels refreshing and wonderful. SO, I’M BACK! And I brought cheese to this productive party, my dudes and dudettes. Cheese!
It’s weird how much better these little tweaks make you feel. First one: I’ve worked out every day this week. I’m not gonna make some unrealistic statement and say that this is how I’m living from here on out, but good gracious does it make me feel giddy.
Second tweak: I’ve cut out coffee. I know. I know. I can’t believe I just wrote that. It wasn’t planned. I woke up Monday morning and got some tea instead of coffee. And then I did the same thing the next day. And the next day. And now, it’s Friday and I feel like I have more energy than I’ve had in months. In months I’m guessing this won’t last for long–the taste of coffee is a long time love.
I decided to keep up with the health-ish, unusual track that I’m on and snack on some beets. (I honestly don’t even know who I am right now.) I hate beets. I think they taste–for the most part–like dirt. Like, the actual earth. People put a bunch of goat cheese on them and avocado and think they’re delicious. Datsss cool. I’m just not one of those people.
Have you ever had a savory cupcake? I have. A fancy famous chef made it for me. It was $15. I didn’t like it.
Have you ever had savory bread pudding? I have. Incredible.
Have you ever had a savory pudding ? Just no.
Have you ever had/heard of savory biscotti? Up until last weekend, I had not. I came across it on the internets and was fascinated upon first sight. And since it’s all up in your face, pictured above with a cup of steamy coffee, it’s obviously a major yes. Duh.
Let’s talk my favorite holiday subject: presents!!
Look, I know I’m supposed to act all adult-like and humble and and be like, “Me? Nah…I don’t need a present. Don’t get me a present. I have everything I need…”
But can we be honest? I love presents. And sure I do have most things I need, but I still have wants. Duh.
I like that someone got in their car, went somewhere, picked something out just for me. I like that someone wrapped something, put a bow on it…just for me. Presents–when thoughtful–feel warm and sweet, and are just plain awesome.
If someone baked me something, put it in a glass jar, learned how to make a pom-pom (just for me!) and gave it to me…swoon. Seriously, can we get friend married?
I want us to talk make-up. Blush and eyeliner. Hairz routines. Eyelash curling situations (they’ll forever scare me). I want us to share!!! And be real life friends. And boyz (all two of you that read this blog), you too! What’s your haircut life like? How does it feel to just never have to worry about makeup? Freeing…?
Me, over here, I’m kind of easy breezy. I wear make-up pretty much everyday. But I only use, like, three things. And these few things have my loyalty probably for life. I’m gonna be 60 years old with this same routine, I have a feeling. If I’m going about my business during the day, I’ll throw on some concealer; mainly for under my eye balls. I have sleeping issues. I dunno. I hear lavender helps.
I rub some blush on for good measure. A little color makes people look like they aren’t dead. That’s a plus.
And a few swipes of the greatest mascara to have ever been created is a total must. I don’t leave the house without it. It’ll sometimes take me 10 minutes to put it on. I’m technical with it.
Every now and then I’ll put a swipe of liquid eyeliner on. It’s usually reserved when I wanna look cute. Like solidify the cuteness, you know?
Lipstick? Not for me…I don’t do it. I’m always drinking something, eating something, etc. Too high-maintenance for me. And plus, one of my greatest fears in life is to be the girl with lipstick on her teeth. Not cute. Eyeshadow? Nah…not really.
Now my nails…OMG…that’s a whole other post in of itself. Nail game has to be tight. Nail polish has a special place in my heart. You know this.
My hairz? Bangs. Straight…with a dab of this and a few sprays of this.
If I’m feeling really lazy, but want to fake like I tried, I totally do a top knot. Hair WAY up. And it being a little messy makes it cuter. It’s the 5 minute trick of tricks. I recommend it.
This recipe is inspired by my fake “I tried but didn’t” hair situation. These rolls are a hellavah lot more interesting than my hair…mainly because butter and carbs are involved.
1. Why do high school reunions still exist?! This is why Facebook was invented. I already know that you married that dude. And had those kids. And live in that house. I see the pictures. EVERY. DAY…in my newsfeed.
2. Why don’t we embrace breakfast foods for dessert? Think warm chocolate waffles…topped with vanilla bean ice cream and whipped cream. I experienced this Monday night with Nastassia. SO MAJOR!! We’re doing this soon. Promise.
2. I make plans for nicknames. This is normal, right? For instance, whenever I give birth to a small human, I’m probably going to call him “tater tot.” Maybe “tater” for the nickname to his nickname. Is there anything cuter than a tater tot? No. Also, when I finally get a corgi I’m totally naming him “Fredrique.” Such a proper prestigious name. Very appropriate.
3. Third and final, I successfully (!!) cooked up the nickname of my future son. This is HUGE for me. I’ve tried a few tater tot recipes over the years and have never been satistifed with the results…until yesterday. I was giddy for the rest of the day due to this fried achievement. Is it the easiest, fastest recipe on this blog? No. Definitely not. Is it worth the effort? YES!! And a bonus is that you can double this batch, freeze them, and fry them up, per your leisure.
Plus: I (sorta) have step-by-step pictures. LET’S START!!