
My lady doctor gave me strict instruction that I need to start taking vitamins. I’ve put this off for a really long time because I’m a gigantic baby and suck at taking pills. I do that melodramatic thing where I fill up my mouth with water and then stick the pills in my mouth and then swallow. Sometimes I do like a little gag reflex thing…and then realize there’s no one around to feel sorry for me. Womp womp.
Anyway, I heard through a friend-of-a-friend that Trader Joe’s is the place to get those adult edible vitamins, so I went and she was right. And they’re not just “edible,” they’re deliciously edible! You mean I can take my daily vitamins in form of a gummi bear? Even though it was “candy,” I still expected it to be sort of disgusting. But whoa, before I knew it I ate, like, half the bottle. I’m sure this is awful, right? The bottle said take one…I took 10? Maybe 15?
I’m not sure what’s worse: too little vitamins, or too many. And I also did this on an empty stomach, but it was perfect timing because the batch of the carnitas that was on the stovetop was done, so I assembled two of these things and I felt a little better. Overly vitamized…but better!
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This avocado hummus is delicious. And I know I say that a lot, but I really rilly like this one. It’s a good one!
In other related news, why are avocados so expensive? I get that they’re delicious, buttery, fatty (in a healthy way!), pretty, and again, delicious.
No but really…
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I feel like I’ve been a little bit of a psycho lately. It started a few weeks ago when I was like, Man, what if I put bacon on popcorn? That was cool. Then there were these salty oatmeal cookies, followed by bone marrow and then fried corn dog tots. Ugh. After all that I needed a hike and a fruit bowl, you know what I mean?
So, I went on the hike–it was pretty. And had a fruit bowl, but then I needed dinner, a real dinner…
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You know what you don’t need? A guacamole recipe. I dunno.
Maybe this is me being a total brat, but honestly, even if you don’t know how to boil water, the last thing you need is a recipe that involves mashing, folding and adding salt. That’s just silly talk.
I lamented for a long time about sharing this situation you see pictured because why do you need this?! You can do this without me. Who am I to tell you how to make your guacamole.
But, I love it. So I figured that maybe you would, too. And maybe you never thought to put pomegranate seeds in guacamole. And maybe you’ll make it and share it with someone. That’d make my day.
So here I am. Just a girl…with a bowl of guacamole, asking you all to mash up some ripe avocados, mix ‘em with some chopped up cucumbers and pomegranate seeds. It’s way more special this way! Refreshing, sweet, lime-y…special!
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The real name of this salad should read:
“Roasted Rainbow Heirloom Carrot Goat Cheese and Avocado Salad with a Citrus Cumin Dressing.”
But! it needed some tweaking. Let’s not do recipe titles that read like paragraphs. Not a good look. Also the word “rainbow” is way cuter than the word “heirloom.” (I think.) Who doesn’t want to eat a rainbow?! No one.
This dish is like a plate full of skittles…but in carrot form.
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Last Friday my stove decided to have a tantrum and stopped working. Kind of annoying…I had serious cooking plans for a picnic. Instead I just ate wine and half a cupcake. It worked out juuuust fine.
Cut to this week: still no stove…I kinda started hoping it needed to be replaced. How dreamy are those O’Keefe and Merritt stoves?! In pale blue?! Hello cuteness!
Sooo…I dug out my toaster oven and started putting stuff on toast. All sorts of stuff. Possibilities…endless.
And then, as soon as my stove was fixed, I made this poached egg and put it on a piece of bread with some salt, pepper and parmesan. Runny eggs are just swoon-worthy, aren’t they?!

Almond butter and sliced strawberries. Delicious. Sweet. Killer combo.
I’m not even gonna start by telling you that turkey bacon compares to regular bacon. It just doesn’t. It can’t. Impossible. It’s healthier, though, so there’s that.
BACON > TURKEY BACON/EVERYTHING…for life.
But I just bought a few bathing suits this week and have yet to try them on. Ugh.
So here you have it: turkey bacon, a few basil leaves, a swipe of veganaise and a few sliced tomatoes on toast.
P.S. I don’t try bathing suits on in stores anymore. The lighting is heartbreaking. So now I just buy a bunch on a credit card, try them on at my apt, and take the ones that don’t work back to the store. Total game changer. Have you tried this?

Avocado on Toast is an all time fav. Adding some ricotta to the mix took it to a whole other level of amazingness.
In other news, this weekend I’m gonna celebrate my reunion with my kitchen by making something crazy…can we say doughnuts?! I dunno…they might be in mini form, they might be girly and pink, or they might have sprinkles in them, maybe even some amazing glaze on top. Who knows…the world is my doughnut…or whatever.

I understand that no one needs a recipe for nachos. I get it. We’re all adults. Nachos are a no-brainer.
And I’ll happily admit that this really was just an excuse for me to make nachos. It was game day and I thought I’d get in the mood with a little chips with cheese.
And then proceeded to watch Teen Mom instead of the game. Good idea.
Before we move on with nachos, can we all just agree that Teen Mom is the scariest show on television? Even more terrifying than Hoarders…

Back to nachos.
I have some nacho theories (um, don’t we all?).
I’m particular about nachos. And can sometimes get an attitude about the way nachos are assembled.

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