I’m doing this thing–not sure if I told you–where I cook alongside Bravo’s new show, Around the World in 80 Plates (which airs each Wednesday at 10pm/9pmc on Bravo!!). Wherever they go, I go…kinda sorta.

Each week they’re in a different international city cooking away and competing, stressing out and being judged, while I stay home, turn on some music, make a dish (corresponding with each city), all while intermittently checking Instagram and texting away–it’s fun!

This week’s show takes place in the gastronomy capital of the world, Lyon, France. Um…this location had my brain in knots because it’s like the equivalent of someone letting me loose in fifty combined Chanel boutiques and saying, You can have whatever one thing you like. Too many options! Too much pressure!

I had lots of elaborate dishes on my brain, but I kept circling back around to my favorite salad ever: Salade Lyonnaise. This salad is everything. There’s frisée tossed in a bacon mustardy vinagrette topped with a perfectly poached egg. And sprinkles of salt and pepper make it extra pretty. Nothing fancy. Total simpleness at its best.

I now welcome you to the sandwich version…

I figured that my favorite salad would taste even better sandwiched between two buttery brioche buns. I think I was correct.

The sandwich begins with some lardon being cooked up in a skillet. (Regular bacon will also work just fine!) Minced shallots are thrown in. Then some red wine vinegar (sherry vinegar will work, too!). Next up, some Dijon mustard.

This is the bacon vinaigrette. Soooo easy and quick. I can imagine this with a variety of different salads.

After you poach the eggs, you’ll toss the frisée with the bacon vinaigrette. Just a lil’ gentle toss!

Warm the bread. Add a few slices of tomatoes. Sprinkles of salt.

(Yeah, I’m actually walking through how to make a sandwich but I dunno what else to say right now.)

Add the frisée.

Then the poached eggs. Sprinkle on a little salt and freshly ground pepper…

Place the top on…and then BOOMBOOMPOW!

French sandwich heaven.

Salade Lyonnaise Sandwich

Print this recipe!

1/4 pound pork belly (or thick-cut bacon), cut into 1-inch cubes
1 shallot, minced
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
Salt
White Vinegar
4 large eggs
2 1/2 cups of frisée salad, washed and torn into bite-size pieces
Freshly ground pepper
4 brioche buns, slice in half
1 large tomato, sliced

1. Place cubes of pork belly in a skillet, set over medium heat and cook until bacon is crisp all over, about 10 minutes. Add minced shallot and cook until softened, a minute or two. Add red wine vinegar and mustard to the skillet and bring just to a boil, stirring, then turn off heat.

2. Meanwhile, bring about four inches of salted water to a boil in a medium pot, then lower heat to barely bubbling. Add a splash of white vinegar, which will aide the egg whites in coagulating. Take a spoon and swirl it around in the water, in one direction, creating a whirlpool. One at a time, break eggs into a shallow bowl and slip them into the center of the bubbling, swirling water. Cook eggs for about 3 to 4 minutes, just until the white is set and the yolk has filmed over. Remove each egg with a slotted spoon and drain briefly on paper towel.

3. Put frisée in a medium bowl. If necessary, gently reheat dressing, then pour over greens (they should wilt just a bit), toss and season with salt and pepper to taste.

4. Preheat oven to 300F. To assemble the sandwiches, slice buns in half and transfer to a warmed oven or conventional oven. Bake until just warm. Remove and lay out. Place a few slices of tomatoes on each bottom half and top with a pinch of salt. Top with a small handful of the frisée mixture, poached egg and garnish with salt and pepper. Serve immediately.

Recipe adapted from Mark Bittman’s Salade Lyonnaise

Yields 4 sandwiches

We all love Larry David, right? I’m just going to speak for everyone, and say yes, yes we all love Larry David. Now, have you seen his recent parking lot fiasco? He’s confused by the parking lot ticket machine, people are honking, someone has to get out of their car to assist him–the whole thing is just incredible. It made me recall my very own, real life Larry David encounter, and omg did it not disappoint. It was Curb Your Enthusaism in real life. IRL!!!

STORY TIIIIIME!

A few Christmases ago, I was on a flight from LA to Miami. I got off the ridiculously packed flight, headed down to baggage claim and waited–along with the rest of the gajillion people that were on my flight. We waited, and waited, and waited some more. We waited so long that my dad got sick of driving around in circles and finally parked the car to join me in this epically long wait. As we were all learning this horrible lesson in patience, I looked up and noticed this really tall man with bushy grey hair, a wrinkled blazer, faded jeans and a worn baseball cap standing directly in front of me. It was Larry David. And he was looking around looking really, really confused.

A small latin man approached him and told him in broken English that he was his driver. Larry nodded. The driver motioned for him to go to wait in the car. And Larry, in his famous awkward disposition, was like, “Ok, ok, well you’re gonna get my luggage then?” The driver nodded.

Larry wasn’t done. He continued, “Ok, ok, well it’s gonna be the black suitcase. But they’re all gonna be black, so you have to check the tag. It’ll be the black one. Make sure you check the tag.” The driver nodded, obviously having done this a million times. Larry left…only to return, I’m not kidding you, like a minute later. He asked, “Which one is your car? The black one? Which black one?” The driver proceeded to tell him which black car was his. Larry left. Again.

Ten minutes pass and we’re still waiting for our luggage. And then I see Larry walk up. He’s looking majorly stressed. He goes to the driver, “Hi, my luggage is going to be black and they’re all going to be black and I wasn’t smart enough to put a bow on it or a ribbon to distinguish it from the rest, so you just have to check the tag to make sure you get the right one. Okay?” The driver at this point is like, OMG chill out! So Larry leaves…for the third time.

We wait some more. And then…I see Larry. Oh Larry!!! HE’S BACK.

He approaches the driver (again) and says, “Listen, my luggage is important and it’s black and they’re all going to be black so you know what, just YOU go and wait in the car, I’ll grab my luggage. It makes the most sense.”

So the driver leaves and waits in the car…while Larry stands there waiting for his black luggage.

THE END!

I honestly–and I’m not kidding you when I say this–feel really really lucky to have witnessed that. It was like an episode of Curb was happening right in front of me. It was just genius. I mean, the luggage being black, the cars being black, the language barrier–it was just too much. I was in heaven.

Okay, in more important news: cookies!

And not just any normal cookies but ones with peanut butter, roasted salted peanuts AND bacon. Whaaa?! And major bonus points: they’re gluten-free.

This recipe comes from Joy the Baker’s new cookbook. There’s a list of recipes I want to make. Guys, there’s a peanut butter and jam milkshake! And chocolate malt bread pudding. And bacon black pepper waffles! I could go on… And much like Joy’s blog, the introduction and headnotes are warm, charming, funny and entertaining. I recommend!

These cookies are some of the easiest/awesome cookies ever. There’s minimal ingredients–you might even have most of them in your pantry. They bake up in only 10 minutes, take 5 minutes to cool and exactly 30 seconds to consume.

I baked these up and had a few with a cup of afternoon coffee. It made the pile of work I have sitting on my desk a lil’ bit more enjoyable.

P.S. Like a moron I added 2 tablespoon of molasses, so they’re a little darker than they should be. I left the recipe below to read the appropriate 2 teaspoons.

P.P.S. If you accidentally add 2 tablespoons of molasses instead of 2 teaspoons, they’ll still taste great. OKAY BYE!

Peanut Butter Bacon Cookies

Print this recipe!

8 slices bacon
1 cup all-natural peanut butter
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar, divided
2 teaspoons molasses
1 large egg
1 teaspoon baking soda
Generous pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
1/2 cup coarsley chopped roasted, salted peanuts

Place a rack in the upper third of the oven and preheat to 350 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with foil and place bacon slices in a single layer. Bake bacon until cooked through and crisp, 12 to 15 minutes. Remove from the oven (keep the oven on), let cool slightly, then transfer to paper towels to cool completely. When cool enough to handle, coarsely chop the bacon and set aside.

Line a clean cookie sheet with parchment paper and set aside.

In a bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, cream together the peanut butter, 1 cup of the sugar, and the molasses until thoroughly combined, about 3 minutes. Add the egg, baking soda, and nutmeg and mix on medium speed for another 2 minutes.

Remove the paddle attachment and the bowl and use a wooden spoon to fold in the bacon and peanuts. Roll the dough into large walnut-sized balls and roll in the remaining 1/2 cup granulated sugar. Place on a lined cookie sheet, and use a fork to make that distinctive peanut butter cookie crisscross patter. If the cookie dough begins to stick to the fork, dip it in sugar before pressing into cookie. Dough will be a little crumbly just press together with your fingers as necessary.

Bake for 10 minutes, until lightly browned. Cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely. Cookies will be crumbly and delicious. Cookies will last up to 5 days in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

Recipe from The Joy the Baker Cookbook

On Monday morning I did something totally crazy.

I reached for my cell, dialed Time Warner and cancelled my cable. This was a desperate measure to take my life back. Sound dramatic? Probably. But last week I called my mom to discuss Bethenny and Jason’s marriage, which sort of seems on the rocks (right?!!?). And on Sunday night I was all like, “Whoa Cythia! That orphan comment you said about Kim was craaaazy messed up. KIM, DON’T FORGIVE HER!”

I have to draw the line sometimes, you know? Being invested in TV relationships is just too much for me right now. I can’t deal. I’d rather spend my life thinking about other things…like bacon and popcorn, and cookies with brown butter in them.

Also, this means I have more money to spend on shoes. Shoes > Cable. DUH!

I woke up thinking about popcorn, literally. I dreamed this popcorn situation while laying in bed before my alarm went off.

My first brain-thought when I get up is always coffee. Always.

So, coffee lead to breakfast foods. Breakfast foods lead to bacon. Bacon lead to something sweet…like maple syrup.

Maple syrup lead to sugar, which then transformed into slightly browned, creamy caramel. And caramel usually leads to salt. And THEN salt lead to popcorn.

(And then I thought to make it spicy while in the shower.)

And then BOOM! Spicy Caramel Bacon Popcorn.

A fun lesson I learned: boiling sugar, checking Instagram, checking Twitter, texting AND taking pictures is totally an accident waiting to happen.

I have a blister on two of my fingers now. No biggie! Just don’t do what I did.

This caramel cooks up like a champ–nothing too scary. All you gotta do is work swiftly, so make sure you have all your stuff set-up and ready to go, beforehand.

What I love about this popcorn recipe is that the bacon bits are added to the caramel, so they’re coated, too! That mixture is poured over the popcorn. This means the bacon is, like, stuck to the popcorn. AWESOME.

This caramel popcorn has a good punch of heat and the salty bacon works wonders with the caramel.

P.S. Is it bad that I already sorta miss my cable?! The OC Housewives are gonna be on tomorrow and I’m gonna miss it. SADFACE!

Spicy Caramel Bacon Popcorn

Print this recipe!

5-6 slices of bacon
Nonstick cooking spray
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 cup popcorn kernels
1 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
3 cups white granulated sugar
3 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 teaspoons fine sea salt

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with parchment and lay bacon side-by-side. Transfer baking sheet to hot oven and cook bacon for 15 minutes, and until crispy and brown. Remove and place on paper towels to drain. When cool, cut into dice-sized pieces.

2. Lightly coat two large heatproof rubber spatulas and a large mixing bowl with nonstick cooking spray. In a large saucepan or pot with a lid, heat the vegetable oil over medium-high heat. Add the popcorn kernels, cover, and keep the saucepan moving until all of the kernels have popped, about 4 minutes. Transfer the popped popcorn to the large prepared bowl, removing any unpopped kernels.

3. In a small bowl, whisk together the baking soda and cayenne pepper. In a medium saucepan, combine the sugar, butter, salt, and 1/2 cup water. Cook over high heat, without stirring, until the mixture becomes a light golden-yellow caramel, about 10 minutes. Remove from the heat and carefully whisk in the baking soda mixture (the mixture will bubble up). Quickly fold in bacon bits. Pour the caramel over the popcorn and toss, like a salad, until all of the popcorn is evenly coated with the caramel.

4. Pour the popcorn onto a large baking pan and quickly flatten and separate it into small pieces while it is still warm. Cool to room temperature, about 15 minutes. Once it is cool, store it in a well-sealed airtight container.

5. Caramel popcorn will keep in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 4 days.

Adapted from The Craft of Baking

Maple bacon doughnuts are nothing new to my world (evidence: here and here). I lead a lucky life.

And despite me loving them, I’ve never felt the urge to make them myself. When I think of homemade doughnuts, I get sleepy. Sooooo much work. The dough making, the rolling out, cutting out, the two rises and the frying. Ugh. Too much. It’s way easier to drive downtown and pick one up.

A few days ago though, I found a happy compromise: hot oil…but NO rises. Cake doughnuts. Whoa. WHOA.

This comes together, I swear, in like 15 minutes. It’s the easiest dough in the world. You mix a little here, pour in a little milk there, fold in some flour. That’s it.

Roll it out. Cut out your doughnuts.

And fry. There’s no wait!

Real talk for a second: Frying is annoying. I know this. What are you supposed to do with the oil when you’re done? Ugh. What if it spills everywhere? These are all really valid arguments why you should just buy a deep-fryer.

I’ve been telling myself this for the past few months. It’s actually neater and easier with a deep-fryer. But…but…imagine how much I’d fry! Chicken wings for dinner. Fried calamari all the time. Fried twinkies for dessert. It’d be a problem.

I just can’t bring myself to do it. Fried dough is a treat. That’s why I urge you to actually double this recipe because you’re putting in a little bit of effort so it needs to be worth your while.

AM I RIGHT? I’m right.

Also, please disregard my disgusting nails. Just shameful.

My favorite part of this recipe was dipping the doughnuts in the glaze. So pretty! So fun!

The sprinkling of the bacon makes these things so gorgeous.

Forget sprinkles, guys; we got bacon!

Maple Bacon Cake Doughnuts

Print this recipe!

Doughnuts:
1 quart peanut oil (or a 50/50 peanut and vegetable oil blend)
1 tablespoon vegetable shortening
1/2 cup white granulated sugar
1 large egg
1 3/4 cup, plus 2 tablespoons, all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 cup whole milk

Maple Glaze:
1 cup powdered sugar
1 1/2 tablespoons whole milk
1 tablespoon maple syrup

Bacon:
4 cooked slices of thick cut bacon, chopped

Preheat oil to 365°F.

1. Whisk together the shortening, sugar and egg yolk until well combined.

2. In another bowl sift together the flour, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. Alternate adding the flour mixture and milk to the yolk mixture until a dough has just formed.

3. Turn the dough onto a clean surface and knead until smooth, 3 to 5 minutes. Lightly flour the surface and roll dough until ½ inch thick.

4. Use a 3-inch doughnut cutter, cut out doughnuts. Re-roll the scraps to make more doughnuts. I ended up with about 11 doughnuts and 11 doughnut holes.

5. Carefully drop 3 to 4 doughnuts at a time into the oil and fry for 1 ½ to 2 minutes, flipping the doughnuts after a minute.

6. Drain on paper towels and repeat until all the doughnuts have been made.

7. In a small bowl, mix together glaze ingredients until smooth and creamy. To make the doughnuts, dip the doughnuts into the glaze and top with a few chopped pieces of bacon. Repeat until all of the doughnuts and doughnut holes are covered in glaze and bacon.

Cake Doughnut recipe from Spoon Fork Bacon; Maple Bacon Doughnut inspiration from Nickel Diner.

I like to think that galettes are like lazy, messy, casual pies. You only sorta have to roll them out. You only sorta have to make them look pretty. But really, the messier the better. It’s about the easy.

I can’t really think of a meal of the day where easy is most welcomed than on a cold, hazy January morning.

Let’s have pie for breakfast. But let’s leave the fruit for the summer. It’s January. So, pie…with runny eggs, lots of cheese and salty bacon.

Too good!

Start it with a non-sweetened pie crust. Basic! Simple!

Roll it out. Spread on some ricotta. Sprinkle on some mozzarella!

Fold over the edges. You can try to make it look all cute. Or not. Who cares.

Brush on a little egg wash and stick it in the oven.

Take it out. (Do you like my step-by-step?) Add the bacon. Add the egg yolks. Back in the oven for a few more minutes, just until the egg yolks set, slightly.

When you take it out, it needs some salt, pepper and basil. Sprinkle on some red crushed pepper (I put it on everything!).

Serve it up with some coffee. Or some juice.

The buttery flakey crust is just too good with all the cheese.

And the salty bacon. Hi breakfast! And the runny eggs. Whoa!

Breakfast Galette

Print this recipe!

Crust:

1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 stick unsalted butter, cubed and cold
1/4 cup water, ice cold

Toppings:

3 tablespoons ricotta cheese
1/4 cup mozzarella, shredded
2 slices bacon, cooked and cubed
3 large egg yolks
3 basil leaves
Salt and Pepper

1. In a medium bowl, mix together all-purpose flour and salt. Place flour and unsalted butter in freezer for 5 minutes to chill.

2. Combine flour mixture and butter. Mix until you’re left with what resembles coarse meal, with pea size pieces of butter. Add ice water 1 Tbsp at a time, mixing until it just begins to clump together. If you pinch some of the crumbly dough and it holds together, it’s ready. If the dough doesn’t hold together, add a little more water and mix again.

3. Remove dough from bowl and place in a mound on a clean surface. Gently shape into a discs, being sure to not over-knead. Wrap the disc in plastic wrap and refrigerate at least 1 hour, and up to 2 days.

4. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. On a floured surface, roll dough to a 10-inch circle with a 1/4-inch thickness. It’s okay if the edges are shaggy and it’s not a perfect circle. Transfer to a parchment-lined baking sheet.

5. Scoop ricotta onto the center of the dough, spreading out to make a large circle, stopping 1-inch from the edge of the dough. Sprinkle on grated mozzarella cheese. Fold edges of dough over the cheese. Transfer baking sheet to the refrigerator for 15 minutes.

6. Whisk together yolk and water. Brush dough with the egg wash. Bake until crust is lightly golden brown, 25-30 minutes. Take galette out of the oven and gently place yolks atop cheese. Arrange bacon bits to your liking and place back in oven for 2-3 minutes, or until yolks set.

7. Garnish with basil and salt and pepper.

Pig candy is a real thing. Didyouknowthis?

I did not. Until last week when I had dinner at Lou’s, this wine bar in a random strip mall next to an even more random laundromat. In other news, I’ve been pronouncing the word “laudromat” like “laundry-mat…” up until, oh I dunno, like, yesterday.

Not sure if you knew this, but in Los Angeles things like kitchen floors that aren’t made from formica, a washer & dryer in your unit, and a parking space for your vehicle, are all considered luxuries. I have two out of the three and I feel lucky and rich.

Pig Candy. Let’s go back to that.

It’s really special. I’d even go as far as to say that it’s important.

Sure, I’ve brushed bacon with maple syrup…

I’ve even sprinkled a bit of brown sugar atop of it; but I’ve never added it all up and then thrown in cayenne for an explosion that’s so crazy and fun, that the only words I can find to describe it are crazy and fun.

It started with brown sugar and some cayenne. It shouldn’t be too spicy, just a kick. Take a note below on the cayenne amount. No bigs.

Throw it in the oven for 15 minutes or so. Take it out…

Brush on some maple syrup. Bake some more. Flip over the bacon slices, put more maple syrup on. Bake some more. And then refrigerate.

The bacon pieces will harden, and be all candy-like. They’ll be sweet with a small amount of kick. Put it on a couple scoops of ice cream. Serve it as a snack with some beer. Drink it with fancy wine. How ever you wanna enjoy it is cool.

Just remember this:

Bacon is important.

Pig Candy

Print this recipe!

10 slices of bacon (about 1 1/4 lb of thick-cut bacon)
*3/4 teaspoon ground cayenne
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1/4 cup pure maple syrup

1. Preheat oven to 350F. In a small bowl, mix together brown sugar and cayenne.

*(Note: the cayenne I had was pretty dull. If yours is brand new, I’d recommend a 1/2 teaspoon vs. the 3/4 teaspoon I used. You want it to be a touch spicy; not straight fire, ya know?)

2. Line a baking sheet with a piece of parchment. (This will help with the clean-up.) Place a baking rack atop the lined baking sheet and lay bacon side-by-side.

3. Coat both sides of bacon with the brown sugar mixture, pressing it into the bacon to be sure it adheres.

4. Bake for 15 minutes, or until lightly golden brown. Take bacon out of the oven and coat one side with maple syrup. Place it back in the oven and bake for 5-7 additional minutes. After the 5 minute mark, flip bacon over, coat with maple syrup and return to oven for the last 5-7 minutes.

5. Place in refrigerator to harden for an hour. Cut into pieces and eat atop some ice cream or by itself. Maybe with a glass of beer. That’s pretty good.

Hi Jalapeño. Hi Bacon. Hi Cheese.

It’s kind of crazy to think that all those glorious things can exist in one bite…but they do. They totally do.

If you want to see how this is done, jump over to the Tasty Kitchen blog where you’ll find: step-by-step pictures (by me), and a the recipe. This is all so you too can create these bites of awesomeness.

This week mini-life lessons were just flying all around me. Wanna hear ‘em?! Of course you.

1. If you go to the movies with a boy and he ends up eating ALL of your Sour Patch Kid–that you specifically wanted to buy yourself so you didn’t have to share–and you find yourself annoyed, he’s not the right dude for you. You should WANT to share your Sour Patch Kids, you know?!

2. I just watched Clueless for the bajillioninth time and just realized it came out in 1995…WHAT?! That’s SO long ago. How is it still so amazing?! How are the clothes still relevant?! How do I STILL know practically every line in that movie?!

3. I call my mom too much. The woman has been out of the country for a week and I’ve reached for my phone to text/call her, like, a million times. It makes me feel like an orphan. So now I just email incessantly. And I’ve tried to call my dad to talk…but he just presses ignore, I think.

4. Don’t get addicted to those San Pellegrino Aranciata orange soda things. I’ve bought two six-packs in the past two days and now I’m kinda poor. Don’t go poor because soda. That’s just silly. Everyone knows if you’re gonna go poor because of anything it should be because of shoes.

5. Sweet potatoes aren’t yams. But yams are sweet potatoes. WHAT?! Good gracious, USDA, do you understand how confusing you’re making me/the entire country?

C’est la whatevsies!! I say we give them a new name.

Sweet potato is kinda boring and obvi, no?

Clementine potato? Tangerine potato? Creamsicle potato? OMG! I have it:

Aranciata Potato.

It’s like if my San Pellegrino orange drink obsession and a sweet potato did it in the back of a car. And had a child. It would totally be a Aranciata Potato.

Now that we’ve settled on the future of sweet potatoes/yams, let’s talk this hash.

This magic starts with lardons. Basically lardons are slab bacon cut up into 1/4″ cubes. They’re kind of like bacon bits. But bigger. Kind of. Not really. Why is life so confusing!?

No but really, lardons are just slab bacon cut into thick bits. That’s all.

It’s starts with them getting crispy and well cooked.

I then cooked the sweet potato and onion and added a few spices. That cooked up in about 20 minutes. I added the red pepper and garlic and lardons back, poached a few eggs…and BOOM! delicious breakfast.

Pro tips:

If you wanna make it veggie, leave out the bacon.

If you wanna make it vegan, leave out the bacon AND egg.

If you dig spicy, add a dash of cayenne or hot sauce. I bet it’d be major.

Anyway you choose to spin it, it’s super easy and amazing.

And P.S. That whole Sour Patch kids didn’t happen to me. It happened to my best lady friend. I would never eat Sour Patch Kids. Those things create too much saliva and I start gleeking involuntarily. #disgusting

Sweet Potato and Lardon Hash

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1/2 pound slab bacon, sliced into 1/4-inch sticks
Olive oil
1 sweet potato, cubed
1/2 yellow onion, diced
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1/2 red bell pepper, diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
3 eggs, poached

In a cast iron skillet (or any skillet), over medium-high heat, add the lardons and cook for 4-5 minutes, or until thoroughly cooked. Using a slotted spoon, remove the lardons and transfer to a paper towel to drain. Set aside.

Add a tablespoon of olive oil and when hot, add the sweet potato and yellow onion. Add the cumin, paprika, to the sweet potato mixture and mix. Stirring regularly, cook for about 15-20 minutes, or until sweet potatoes are cooked. Be sure to give the largest cubes of sweet potato a taste to make sure they’re thoroughly cooked.

Add the red bell pepper to the skillet and cook for 2-3 minutes. Next, mix in the minced garlic and cook until it becomes fragrant. Taste for salt and pepper and add what you think it necessary.

Place over low heat to keep warm while you poach the eggs. Add the lardons back to the hash and toss. Top with 3 poached eggs and serve.

Serves 2

Hiiii Abby!!!

This blog post is dedicated to Abby.

Abby emailed me a few weeks ago requesting a recipe that could be made in the microwave. You see…Abby is shacking it up in a dorm this year with only two kitchey-type tools at her disposal: a microwave and a mini-fridge. And since she wants to spend her money on more important things like booze, shoes textbooks, she wanted it to be budget friendly.

No biggie, Abby; I got you, gurrrrl!

Meet the Twice Baked Potatoes. They meet the criteria, for sure. They’re perfect for fallish, chilly weather; they take barely any effort/money; and they can be made in either a microwave OR oven. #thricebingo

I made ‘em two ways: decadent and amazing (bacon, cheddar, jalapenos, sour cream) and healthy and good (yogurt, chives, zucchini).

I’m not even gonna pretend the healthy way tastes better. It just doesn’t. BUT it is healthier …so there’s that.

You’re gonna start by forking the potatoes.

Now, pretend you’re in a video game. This is the part when you’re at a fork in the road. And your little animal/person has a choice: go left (microwave) or go right (oven).

If you’re going right (oven), then put them on a baking sheet, season them with salt, pepper and olive oil and bake.

If you’re going left (microwave), you’re going to place them on a microwave safe plate, season them with salt, pepper and olive oil and nuke.

(Directions for both are below!)

This is what potatoes look like when they come out of the oven/microwave.

Thrilling picture, isn’t it?

HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS, everyone….because it’s about to get all cheesy/yogurty/exciting up in this place.

Take a knife and slice off the top of the potato. Using a spoon, scoop out the potato guts and add them to a bowl. This is the healthy way.

Add the yogurt and mash. You want it to be smooth. If you need to, add a splash of milk/almond milk.

P.S. I bet you could just take ALL of these ingredients from your school cafeteria. I took cereal ALL the time. They didn’t miss it.

Add the chives. Add the cooked zucchini and mix. Place the mixture back into the potato shell.

If you’ve chosen the fun/cheesy/bacon-ey path in the video game you call life, do the same as above: slice off the top of the potato, scoop out the insides and then add bad/fun stuff. Like a dollop of butter, a splash of milk and mash, until smooth and creamy.

Add the cheese, jalapeno and mix. Add it all back to the potato shell and top with some more cheese and the chopped up bacon.

It should look like this:

Bake that. Microwave that. Whatever path you chose, follow through.

Because if you do…you’ll be met with this. And this, my friends/Abby, is what delicious is.

Twice Baked Potatoes, Two Ways

Print this recipe!

Healthy Way:

1 large russett potato, scrubbed clean
1 tablespoon of olive oil
Salt and Pepper
2 tablespoons of greek yogurt
Splash of milk (optional)
1/2 tablespoon of chives, chopped
1 small zucchini, chopped

Microwave Instructions:
Using a fork, puncture several holes all over the potato. This will ensure that it won’t explode as it cooks. Place the potato on a microwave-safe plate and rub with olive oil and top with salt and pepper. Cook, on high, for 10 minutes.

While the potato is cooling, add the diced zucchini to a microwave-safe bowl, a teaspoon of olive oil and salt and pepper and cook for 5 minutes.

When the potato is slightly cooled, using a knife, slice off the top, lengthwise and scoop out the potato guts into a small bowl. Add the yogurt and splash of milk and mash until nice and creamy. Fold in the chives and zucchini. Add salt and pepper to taste. (Note: I added a good amount of salt until I was satisfied.)

Add the mixture back to the potato skin and cook in the microwave for another 2 minutes.

Oven Instructions:
Preheat oven to 400F. Using a fork, puncture several holes all over the potato. This will ensure that it won’t explode as it cooks. Place the potato on a baking sheet and rub with olive oil and top with salt and pepper. Bake for 50 minutes to an hour. You can tell when the potato is cooked if a fork easily enters.

While the potato is cooling, cook up the diced zucchini. In a small skillet add a tablespoon of olive oil, diced zucchini, salt and pepper. Should be done cooking in 3-4 minutes. Set aside.

When the potatoes are slightly cooled, using a knife, slice off the top, lengthwise and scoop out the potato guts and into a small bowl. Add the yogurt and splash of milk and mash until nice and creamy. Fold in the chives and zucchini. Add salt and pepper to taste. (Note: I added a good amount of salt until I was satisfied.)

Place in the oven for another 5-7 minutes.

Cheesy/Bacon-ey Way:

Print this recipe!

1 large russett potato, scrubbed clean
1 tablespoon of olive oil
Salt and Pepper
1 small dollop of butter
Splash of milk
1 tablespoon sour cream
1 handful of cheddar, grated and divided
1 strip of bacon, cooked and chopped
1 tablespoon jalapeno, diced

Microwave Instructions:
Using a fork, puncture several holes all over the potato. This will ensure that it won’t explode as it cooks. Place the potato on a microwave-safe plate and rub the potato with olive oil and top with salt and pepper. Cook, on high, for 10 minutes, or until completely cooked.

While the potato is cooling, take a microwave-safe plate and cover with 2 paper towels. Add the bacon strip to the center and top with one more paper towel. Cook, on high, for 3-4 minutes.

When the potatoes are done and slightly cooled, using a knife, slice off the top, lengthwise and scoop out the potato guts and into a small bowl. Add the butter, milk and sour cream and mash until nice and creamy. Fold in the cheddar and jalapeno. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Add the mixture to the potato skin, top with a small handful of cheddar and chopped bacon. Place in the microwave for another 2 minutes, or until cheese is melted.

Oven Instructions:
Preheat oven to 425F. Using a fork, puncture several holes all over the potato. This will ensure that it won’t explode as it cooks. Place the potato on a baking sheet and rub with olive oil and top with salt and pepper. Bake for 50 minutes to an hour. You can tell when the potato is cooked if a fork easily enters.

While the potato is cooling, cook up the bacon in a small skillet, until crispy.

When the potatoes are slightly cooled, using a knife, slice off the top, lengthwise and scoop out the potato guts and into a small bowl. Add the butter, milk and sour cream and mash until nice and creamy. Fold in the cheddar and jalapeno. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Add the mixture to the potato skin, top with a small handful of cheddar and chopped bacon. Place in the oven for another 10 minutes, or until cheese is melted.

Hi! I have biscuits this morning…with bacon…and some sort of glaze situation! Can we talk?

Since I’ve lured you with the smell of sizzling salty bacon, I’d like to share three incredibly significant boring things that happened to me yesterday:

1. Two five-year-old girls (separately) complimented my new leopard ankle boots. I think this might mean I’m a trendsetter. OR it just means that these little girls want shoes that look like their fav stuffed animal. Either way, I’ll take it.

2. I had TWO dinners. Yes, last night I sat down to a 7-course tasting menu to only then find out that was the appetizer. Hello!!! Amazing!! I’ll tell you all about it on Monday, but in case you’re even nosier than me, keep up with my Sonoma food and wine thrills on FB & Twitter.

P.S. If you’re lucky, I might post a pic of me voming on the scheduled helicopter ride. (Can we say….schmexy!!!)

3. I packed a few biscuits in my bag to the airport. And since I’m a loser and always try and get away with bringing stuff I shouldn’t (read: hair spray), I always have to show the security dude the guts of my suitcase. It always feels violating. Always.

Is he judging my folding techniques? Are my bras and underwearz gonna fall out onto the floor for the world to see? Terrible! Embarrassing! Also, kinda gross. Seriously. That floor’s disgusting.

Anywhatever…as he was rummaging through my things, he came across a Ziploc of two of these bacon biscuits that I packed for myself. He asked me about them, I explained, he freaked, I offered him one, he declined…something about terrorists. I dunno. Kinda sad that he can’t even accept a biscuit, right?! Geez.

Or maybe he just used that as an excuse. Probably because he didn’t want to admit that taking food from a stranger–and one who folds clothes like a 10-year-old boy–is a really bad idea. Whatever the case, he missed out.

These biscuits are flaky, salty (obvi), buttery and the maple glaze situation gives just the perfect amount of sweetness. Helllloooo breakfast!

I wish that security dude could’ve tried one; I bet if he did, he would’ve let me keep my can of Elnett. #ugh

In other news: I’m totally obsessed with painting my nails with gradient sparkily nail polish. I’m sure this isn’t a total shocker, but just wanted to let you know in case you were wondering.

Love you, per usual.

Adrianna

Maple Bacon Biscuits with Maple Glaze

Yields 8 biscuits

Print this recipe!

Biscuits
5-6 slices of bacon
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 sticks of very cold butter (or 6 ounces), cubed
1/2 cup cold and shaken buttermilk
1 large egg
1/4 cup maple syrup
1 egg, beaten with a tablespoon of milk or water (egg wash)

Maple Glaze:
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/4 cup maple syrup
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F (230 degrees C).

Cook up the bacon! To cook bacon you have two options: fry or bake. I prefer the baking technique. To bake, preheat the oven to 400F, line a baking sheet with parchment. Next, place the bacon side-by-side and stick it in the oven for 15-20 minutes, or until crispy. Drain the bacon on paper towels to expel excess grease. Chop it up into about 1/2-inch pieces, let cool and set aside.

In a large bowl, mix together the all-purpose flour, baking powder and salt. Working quickly, add the cubed butter and break it up with your hands until all of the butter is broken into bits and resembles small peas.

In a measuring cup, whisk together the buttermilk and egg. Add the buttermilk mixture, maple syrup and chopped bacon to the flour mixture. Mix until barely combined. Lightly dust your kitchen counter with flour and dump the dough onto it. Knead a few times (maybe 4 or 5) until the dough comes together. Press or gently roll the dough into a 1-inch thickness. Cut out biscuits using a 2-inch cutter and place on lined baking sheet. Re-roll dough scraps to get a few more biscuits. Brush the tops of the biscuits with egg wash and bake in oven for 15-20 minutes, or until tall and golden brown.

For the maple glaze, add all of the ingredients to a small bowl and mix until completely combined. Serve biscuits warm with glaze poured atop.