This week mini-life lessons were just flying all around me. Wanna hear ‘em?! Of course you.

1. If you go to the movies with a boy and he ends up eating ALL of your Sour Patch Kid–that you specifically wanted to buy yourself so you didn’t have to share–and you find yourself annoyed, he’s not the right dude for you. You should WANT to share your Sour Patch Kids, you know?!

2. I just watched Clueless for the bajillioninth time and just realized it came out in 1995…WHAT?! That’s SO long ago. How is it still so amazing?! How are the clothes still relevant?! How do I STILL know practically every line in that movie?!

3. I call my mom too much. The woman has been out of the country for a week and I’ve reached for my phone to text/call her, like, a million times. It makes me feel like an orphan. So now I just email incessantly. And I’ve tried to call my dad to talk…but he just presses ignore, I think.

4. Don’t get addicted to those San Pellegrino Aranciata orange soda things. I’ve bought two six-packs in the past two days and now I’m kinda poor. Don’t go poor because soda. That’s just silly. Everyone knows if you’re gonna go poor because of anything it should be because of shoes.

5. Sweet potatoes aren’t yams. But yams are sweet potatoes. WHAT?! Good gracious, USDA, do you understand how confusing you’re making me/the entire country?

C’est la whatevsies!! I say we give them a new name.

Sweet potato is kinda boring and obvi, no?

Clementine potato? Tangerine potato? Creamsicle potato? OMG! I have it:

Aranciata Potato.

It’s like if my San Pellegrino orange drink obsession and a sweet potato did it in the back of a car. And had a child. It would totally be a Aranciata Potato.

Now that we’ve settled on the future of sweet potatoes/yams, let’s talk this hash.

This magic starts with lardons. Basically lardons are slab bacon cut up into 1/4″ cubes. They’re kind of like bacon bits. But bigger. Kind of. Not really. Why is life so confusing!?

No but really, lardons are just slab bacon cut into thick bits. That’s all.

It’s starts with them getting crispy and well cooked.

I then cooked the sweet potato and onion and added a few spices. That cooked up in about 20 minutes. I added the red pepper and garlic and lardons back, poached a few eggs…and BOOM! delicious breakfast.

Pro tips:

If you wanna make it veggie, leave out the bacon.

If you wanna make it vegan, leave out the bacon AND egg.

If you dig spicy, add a dash of cayenne or hot sauce. I bet it’d be major.

Anyway you choose to spin it, it’s super easy and amazing.

And P.S. That whole Sour Patch kids didn’t happen to me. It happened to my best lady friend. I would never eat Sour Patch Kids. Those things create too much saliva and I start gleeking involuntarily. #disgusting

Sweet Potato and Lardon Hash

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1/2 pound slab bacon, sliced into 1/4-inch sticks
Olive oil
1 sweet potato, cubed
1/2 yellow onion, diced
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1/2 red bell pepper, diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
3 eggs, poached

In a cast iron skillet (or any skillet), over medium-high heat, add the lardons and cook for 4-5 minutes, or until thoroughly cooked. Using a slotted spoon, remove the lardons and transfer to a paper towel to drain. Set aside.

Add a tablespoon of olive oil and when hot, add the sweet potato and yellow onion. Add the cumin, paprika, to the sweet potato mixture and mix. Stirring regularly, cook for about 15-20 minutes, or until sweet potatoes are cooked. Be sure to give the largest cubes of sweet potato a taste to make sure they’re thoroughly cooked.

Add the red bell pepper to the skillet and cook for 2-3 minutes. Next, mix in the minced garlic and cook until it becomes fragrant. Taste for salt and pepper and add what you think it necessary.

Place over low heat to keep warm while you poach the eggs. Add the lardons back to the hash and toss. Top with 3 poached eggs and serve.

Serves 2

Kabobs have always been a bit stressful to me. I know that seems utterly ridiculous considering that they’re meant to be one of the most simple ways to grill your dinner all at once, but I get hung up on cooking time. I mean, if you have vegetables and meat all on the same skewer, how long are you supposed to cook them for? Cause, what if you like your vegetables to be charred and your steak rare? Or, in the case of this recipe, what if you like grilled pineapple to be caramelized and your tuna barely seared?

“Well, let’s just put them on separate skewers.”

This is what my friend Jason tells me. Did I tell you he’s a doctor? Aren’t you glad that he’s the one that operates on humans and not me? In all the years I’ve made kabobs, for some reason this option never occurred to me. Or maybe it occurred to me, but I thought I would be breaking some cardinal kabob rule.

Turns out, if you put everything on separate skewers and cook them for different amounts of time, things don’t just turn out fine, they turn out absolutely delicious.

I may not be able to handle complex meals like kabobs, but at least I have a few simple desserts up my sleeve. Good thing I have doctor friends to cook for me every now and then.

Gingery Pineapple Fish Kabobs

We used tuna for this recipe, but you could also try swordfish or salmon.

Serves 6

2 cups pineapple juice
1 tablespoon cornstarch
2 tablespoons light soy sauce
1 ½ tablespoons white vinegar
3 tablespoons minced fresh ginger
1 1/4 pounds raw salmon, cut into chunks
1 pineapple, peeled and cut into large chunks
1 large red onion, cut into wedges
1 bell pepper, cut into large pieces

In a small saucepan, dissolve cornstarch in pineapple juice. Add in the soy sauce, vinegar, garlic and ginger. Simmer until slightly thickened, about 7 minutes. Allow to cool and add fish and pineapple to sauce. Marinate for 30 minutes.

Thread fish, pineapple and onion onto the skewers. Place on hot grill until fish is done to your liking.

I tried really hard to think of something to clever to write this morning, and finally had to concede that it just isn’t happening. It’s been a long week, and the week’s not even half over. Plus, the A/C is permanently stuck on “high” in my office, and it’s a balmy 50 degrees outside, so I’m more concerned with staying warm than coming up with cutsy quips.

Uggh, sorry, I wish I could do better for you. However, I do have this pizza. This pizza is delicious to make with fresh, early-summer corn. If you have access to a front porch, I suggest you eat there. If you can whip up a margarita to go with it, that wouldn’t hurt either.

I promise to do better for you next week. Seriously, I’m gonna do a little attitude adjustment and it’s going to be rainbows and sunshine. In the meantime, if you want to see photos of someone that is super-happy, you should check here. Please know I still love you. Even when I’m cold and tired, and that really says something.

Roasted Chile, Corn and Cheddar Pizza

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Adapted from Cooking Light

2 poblano chiles

2 cups fresh corn kernels (about 4 ears)

1/2 cup chopped green onion

1 garlic clove, minced

1/2 cup milk

2 large egg whites

1 large egg

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

1 cup  shredded sharp cheddar cheese

1  recipe pizza dough store bought or homemade

2 tablespoons fat-free sour cream

2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro

Preheat broiler

Place poblano chiles on a foil-lined baking sheet; broil 10 minutes or until blackened and charred, turning occasionally. Place in a heavy-duty zip-top plastic bag and seal. Let stand 10 minutes to allow the skins to separate. Peel and discard skins, seeds, and stems. Chop peppers.

Lower oven temperature to 425°. In a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Coat pan with cooking spray. Add corn, green onions, and garlic and sauté 2 minutes or until lightly browned. Stir in milk; cook over medium heat 2 minutes more or until liquid almost evaporates. Cool slightly.

Meanwhile, place egg whites, egg, salt, and black pepper in a bowl; stir with a whisk. Stir in poblano peppers, corn mixture, and cheese. Make sure the corn has cooled – you don’t want to scramble the eggs

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Unroll dough onto parchment paper; pat dough to form a 13 x 8-inch rectangle. Spread corn mixture over dough, leaving a 1-inch border. Fold 1 inch of dough over corn mixture. Bake at 425° for 12 minutes or until set. Serve with sour cream; sprinkle with cilantro (optional).

Fact: I don’t eat very much meat. Technically, my diet is classified as “pescetarian” because the only meats I will eat are fish and seafood.

Fact: I never call myself a pescetarian because I think the word sounds snotty.

Fact: Contrary to popular belief, I, like most vegetarians, do not like eating salads all the time. I do not typically believe that a salad constitutes a meal. I prefer “stick to your ribs” kind of food.

Fact: Uncooked and/or steamed tofu is gross. Seriously people, why even put it on the menu?

Fact: This Bolognese is amazing. It is 100% vegetables and brings back every memory I have of eating the beef-based kind. With recipes like this I do not miss meat. Ever.

Fact: I ate this for dinner and then breakfast the next morning. Totally awesome.

Vegetable Bolognese

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Adapted from Giada Dr Laurentiis

I liked the base of vegetables that this recipe uses, but I thought it was a little skimpy on the tomato aspect so I added in a can of crushed tomatoes. It is absolutely perfect, definitely going to be showing up in my kitchen a lot more often. I used white button and cremini mushrooms, but feel free to play around to get different flavors.

1 pound pasta – I used rigatoni
3 small – medium carrots, peeled and chopped
1 small onion, peeled and chopped
1 red bell pepper, seeded and chopped
2 garlic cloves
1/4 cup olive oil
3-4 sprigs fresh thyme
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
6 ounces assorted mushrooms, stemmed and chopped
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 14oz can of crushed tomatoes
1/2 cup red wine
1/4 cup Parmesan

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil over high heat. Add the pasta and cook until tender but still firm to the bite, stirring occasionally, about 8 to 10 minutes. Drain pasta, reserving 1 cup of the cooking liquid.

Place the carrots, onion, bell pepper, and garlic in a food processor. Pulse the vegetables until finely chopped but still chunky. Place the olive oil in a large, heavy skillet over medium-high heat. Add the chopped vegetables, thyme, oregano, salt, and pepper and cook until tender, about 6 minutes.

Add the mushrooms and tomato paste and continue cooking, stirring to dissolve the tomato paste, until the mushrooms are softened, about 5 minutes. Add the crushed tomatoes, reserved liquid from the pasta and red wine. Bring the liquid to a boil, reduce the heat to low, and let the mixture simmer until the liquid is reduced by half, about 10 minutes. Remove thyme sprigs.

Toss the pasta with the sauce, sprinkly with parmesan and serve.

I really, really, really miss summer vacation. I wish that someone had told me that adulthood meant most of my summers would be spent sitting behind a desk. At least then I could maybe have found time to start a petition for change. Nowadays if I find myself with more than a week of free time it’s because I’m unemployed and I then I’m stressed about paying rent, health insurance, and buying dog food. Why can’t I just go to summer camp instead?

Since I’m currently working I have to squeeze all of my summer fun into the weekend, which is not even close to the amount of time I need to do everything I have planned. Like laying by the beach, or catching up with a friend at Aroma Café, or flying back to North Carolina so that I can float down a river in an inner tube. Things like that cannot be squeezed into a normal 48hours, at least, not when I also have to do laundry, grocery shopping, sweep my floors and walk the dog. Seriously, can we form a protest about this??

I did manage to find the time to stroll through the farmers market and found everything I needed to make this salsa though. And that’s pretty cool. I sat on the couch while reading a book and ate this entire bowl all by myself. It sort of felt like summer vacation, and it at least allowed me to forget about that pile of laundry for a while.

Fresh Corn & Avocado Salsa

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It is absolutely imperative that you chop all of the vegetables to roughly the same size as a corn kernel, otherwise the flavors will be off. The dressing in this salad is not meant to dominate the flavors of the salad, and it is therefore very light. The real stars of the show are the fresh vegetables, so I implore you to buy the best quality you can for the best salsa. I cooked my corn by leaving the husks on and placing them in the oven for 30 minutes, but any technique that you prefer will work.

3 ears of corn, cooked (by grilling, boiling, baking, however)
¼ cup chopped red onion
½ cup chopped red pepper
1 large avocado
Juice of 1 lime (roughly 2 tablespoons)
2 tablespoon olive oil
½ teaspoon chili powder
1 small garlic clove minced
¼ teaspoon salt

Combine the lime juice, olive oil, chili powder and garlic clove in a small bowl, set aside.

Using a knife, scrape the sides of the corn to remove the kernels. Place in a small bowl. Combine with the onion, red pepper, avocado and dressing and gently mix together.

I’m realizing that a lot of my daily life is a simple series of action and reaction. For instance,  I recently read, well, more like devoured, the book “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” and after reading something that good there are two logical actions that must be taken: 1) watch the movie on Netflix, 2) order the follow-up book immediately on Amazon.

Another instance is when Lindsay Lohan went to jail, and I the immediate action of people unhealthily obsessed with celebrities everyone was to look up her mug shot.  I would like to tell you that I don’t often follow celebrity gossip news, but my grandmother would disapprove of me to lying to this many people at once.

And now, whenever I make risotto, the immediate reaction the next day will be to make risotto cakes. Although some brilliant bloggers claim that everyone has already heard of the trick of turning leftover risotto into little cakes, I am only just now catching on to this trend. I’m a little behind the times, remember?

I’ve always been hesitant to cook risotto specifically for the reason that leftovers are a waste. Micro-waved day-old risotto is certainly something I’ve ever craved. These little cakes, however, are exactly what I needed in my recipe arsenal. They add in a whole new texture with the crispy fried bread crumbs on the outside, and seal in the melty goodness within that is almost, if not just, as good as the original dish.

Roasted Red Pepper Risotto Cakes

These cakes can be made with any leftover risotto, but I just loved the flavor and color that the red peppers added.

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1 medium onion, minced or finely diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
3 whole roasted red peppers
½ cup white wine
1 ½ cups Arborio rice
5-6 cups vegetable stock
1 cup water
½ cup grated parmesan cheese
½ cup dried bread crumbs

For the risotto:
Combine the water and vegetable broth in a pot and bring to a simmer.

Meanwhile, in a large saucepan, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Saute the onion for 2 minutes or until it begins to soften. Add in the garlic and peppers and sauté another two minutes. Add in the rice and stir for another two minutes, just until the rice begins to brown.

Pour in the white wine and stir until all of the liquid has evaporated. One ladle at a time, at the simmering broth to the rice and stir gently to develop the starches. Wait until all of the liquid has evaporated before adding the next ladle of broth. Once most of the broth has been added in, taste the rice occasionally until it becomes tender. Remove from heat and stir in the parmesan cheese.

For the cakes:
Eat however much of the risotto you want now, and then refrigerate the rest, at least for an hour.

Form the chilled risotto into small balls, and cover both sides with the bread crumbs. Add 2-3 tablespoons of olive oil to a skillet and heat on high. Cook the cakes in the oil, 2-3 minutes on each side or until the bread crumbs are golden brown. Serve over mixed greens, or as a side item.

This is the first dish I could cook without looking at a recipe. Not that it’s much of a challenge, I mean, we’re talking about 5 ingredients tossed together in a skillet; it isn’t exactly brain surgery. However, for a college student cooking in the kitchen of her first apartment, it made me seem like quite the fancy cook to be able to whip together a dinner that didn’t come from a box with flavor packets.

Now, there are a few eating habits that I have grown out of since college. Easy Mac is one of them (although I try to turn a blind eye when Chase continues to make it in the microwave). This recipe, however, is a keeper. It’s easy, filling, and a crowd-pleaser. You can eat it hot off the stove with melted cheese dripping off each little piece of pasta, or you can serve it cold as a pasta salad.

Another reason that I love this dish is because in some ways it marks my entrance into the cooking world. When I was in high school and working at Saluda Grade Café, the chef, Kaye Strang (now Vasquez since she recently got married) agreed to teach me how to cook. I came to work every day with a notebook and in my downtimes I would work back in the kitchen and write down recipes. This is the recipe on page 1 of that notebook. So, from Kaye’s kitchen to mine, and from my kitchen to yours I hope you enjoy this tasty pasta!

Penne Pasta with Roasted Red Peppers

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Adapted from Kaye Vasquez

Want to make this dish uber healthy? Just use whole-wheat pasta and this is a guilt-free meal. I normally use penne with this recipe, but any short pasta will work.

1lb penne pasta
2 tablespoons olive oil
5 oz roasted red peppers (about 2 full peppers), sliced or julienned
2-3 garlic cloves, minced
1/4 cup fresh basil leaves, chopped or chiffonade
1 cup grated parmesan cheese

Cook the pasta in boiling water, drain and set aside.

Heat the olive oil in a large skillet Add the red peppers and garlic and saute over medium heat for 3-5 minutes. Add in the pasta and basil and toss in the red-pepper infused oil. Sprinkle with salt and pepper to taste. Serve topped with parmesan cheese.