Dessert

Chewy Oatmeal Cookies

I so often dislike things that are similar or practically identical to things that I love. A few examples, my friends:

I dislike lipstick but love lip stain. (This one has grown on me.)

I dislike filing my nails (it feels weird) but love painting my nails. (I’m wearing this color right now.)

I dislike red roses but love spray roses. (Evidence that I’m a girl.)

I dislike raisins. Like, loathe raisins (golden raisins are excluded). But I just LOVE currants.

They’re the same but different. Black currants are cuter, tastier, sweeter, and teeny-tiny compared to big ol’ raisins.

Chewy Oatmeal Cookies

Out of all the cookie genres—fat and tall, crispy and thin, round and meaty—chewy is my total favorite.

Chewy is cool! Chewy is chic! Chewy is the new black!

Chewy Oatmeal Cookies [click to continue…]

{ 36 comments }

Ginger Molasses and Rum Quick Bread

Everyone has their go-to drink. Since I’m a complicated human, I have three go-to drinks. They are as follows: my number uno: old fashioned (swoon!); my number dos: gin and tonic (I used to love you more); my number tres: dark and stormy (hai). You’re familiar with a dark and stormy, yes? In case you haven’t, here’s the definition:

Dark and Storm-y
noun.
1. Delicious effing cocktail I like to drink. A lot.

JK JK JK…

Dark and Storm-y
noun.
1. A cocktail consisting of black rum mixed with ginger beer, garnished with a lime and served in a highball glass.

A few days ago I decided that this cocktail consisting of ginger flavors, lime flavors and dark rum flavors should combine forces and be, like, an ensemble cast…in a quick bread.

Think, It’s a Wonderful Life or something, quick bread-style. Uncle Billy would totally be the rum, and George would be the ginger…and Mary…and…I’ll stop now.

[click to continue…]

{ 42 comments }

Do you have a hobby? You know, something you do for fun and just for fun, a creative outlet, something that helps clear your mind and something you just simply enjoy doing.

Maybe cooking is your hobby. Maybe that’s why you’re here. If so, HI!!

I’m in search of a hobby. I want to find something I enjoy doing, just for fun with no pressure to be good at it. A lot of times I’ll try something and want to be amazing at it and then I try it, and obviously fail at being amazing since it’s my first time, and then want to give up. Lame. Not this time! I just wanna chill out, man. I wanna like screen print a shirt, or do some pottery.

And I know this might sound a little bit like a mid-life crisis situation (I’m neither in the middle of my life nor in crisis, but even if I was SO WHAT! WHO CARES!), but I think hobbies are important. I think creating things is important.

Even if you do something creative as a job, it’s kind of nice to do a new creative thing where failing doesn’t matter. Who cares if you suck at knitting?! You can always just buy a sweater if you need it. Who cares if you suck at pottery? You got plates!

Sometimes failing or succeeding isn’t all that important. The doing is what’s important.

If cooking is your hobby, I gotz something for you to do!

Take the jump, let’s make some pieeee.

[click to continue…]

{ 47 comments }

A very good first date question is: “Are you a cat person or a dog person?”

This will help provide clarity and understanding in a moment when both people are just sort of nervous and confused. There’s no right or wrong answer. There’s no pressure. Just information for both people to gather, process and store.

I am and will always be a dog person. I understand doggies. They understand me. But I like all animals so I want to be a cat lady, kinda. And since I’m a dog person, I want people to like me, including kittens. But they don’t ever really do. SADFACE! They don’t.

So, for all you cat ladies and cat dudes, tell me this: Do kittens hate most people?

There’s this cat with dirty white paws and a cute, grey little body that lives on the property where my apartment building is. He’s a stray…sorta. My landlord sets out food for him and few others and they just wander around the property and bask in the sunlight. And every day I have so much hope that we’ll be friends. I go outside to check the mail or walk to my car and I see him. I bend down and talk in my most friendly kitten/animal voice and call him. You have an animal voice, right? I think we all do. I imagine even Obama has a voice he exclusively uses when talking to kittens.

Anyway, the kitten doesn’t buy into my kitten voice. He just stares at me with that snarky, cat attitude face and runs in the other direction. And every day I tell myself, “one day we’re going to be friends.” But we’re not gonna be.

Another question for you cat people: Do cats like doughnuts? If they like doughnuts, we might be OK.

[click to continue…]

{ 44 comments }


{Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Pancakes}

I live in this really magical place called Los Angeles, California.

It’s a place where you have to pay, like, $2 for parking to go to the mall. Even if you don’t buy anything.

It’s a place where people sitting next to you at coffee shops are writing movies on their laptops. And then those movies get made, you see them in the theater, and it’s weird and wild.

It’s a place where palm tress aren’t native to the state, yet they fit in perfectly.

And it’s a place where you see Janice Dickason at the movie theater, dressed like she’s going to the Met Ball, with a man who’s six inches shorter and looks like he might own the state of California. Very normal.

Los Angeles is a place of make believe. So, when it’s the first day of fall and 90 degrees outside, it forces you to pretend it’s brisk out, or else you’ll get mad. Because all anybody wants to do on the first day of fall–myself included–is break out their new boots, scarves, hold hands with the boy they like and jump in a big pile of autumn leaves. Am I right, or am I right? I’m right.

[click to continue…]

{ 40 comments }

Yesterday, while cooking, I added some pepper to a bowl and sneezed. My friend Cassie, who was over at the time, paused and said, “Man, you make a very “interesting” face the moment just before you sneeze.” I’m pretty sure what she meant by “interesting” was “ugly.” So I started to think to myself, Are there other times when I look “interesting”? There must be!

Like, when I’m sleeping and my face just settles into dreamland, do I look unattractive? When I’m washing the dishes, in my own world, pondering what human name I’m going to give my future dog, does my face look unattractive?

And when I cry, do I have an ugly cry face like Kim Kardashian? (This, by far, is my favorite Kim K. moment. Actually, it’s more of Kourtney’s moment. I mean, the way Kourtney laughs at her? Incredible.) If Kim K. is the ugliest crier around, I’d like to nominate the prettiest. That award goes to Demi Moore in Ghost (skip to 1:39). Like, her eyes well up so perfectly, just the right amount of tears, before they overflow and fall so beautifully. Let’s all aspire to cry like that. UGH!

Anyway, surely the moment before sneezing can’t be the only ugly face I unknowingly make. When do you make your “interesting” face? It’s okay, don’t worry, we can’t look cute all the time.

Speaking of unattractive! This bread pudding. Bread pudding is bread pudding. It’s definitely not what I consider “pretty food.” When I pulled it out of the oven I took a look at it and was like, well let’s hope it tastes good. It did. OMG it did.

[click to continue…]

{ 38 comments }

Today this post is all about saying sorry…to yourself.

Do you ever have those days when you’re just irritable? Of course you do. Yesterday, this happened. But instead of being irritated with others (like what would normally happen), I found myself all by myself with no one around, thus resulting in me just being irritated with myself.

I was annoyed that I almost backed my car into my landlord’s car. I was annoyed that I kept tripping over cords. I was annoyed that it was hot and yet I was determined to blow-dry my hair. And then I got annoyed with myself for sweating so much. I was annoyed with myself that I let my pile of laundry get sky-high. I was annoyed that I really wanted a hamburger but was too lazy to drive somewhere. And then I just got really annoyed for being annoyed. Like, shut up. Ew. Stop whining.

It was like I was 2 people but wasn’t. Like, one really annoying, bad mood person and one totally innocent person. The innocent person totally taking the brunt of my irritableness. Humans are complicated.

I finally forced myself to snap out of it. I decided to be super nice to myself. I painted my nails. I watched a movie. And then I gave myself some cookies. Being nice is way more fun.

[click to continue…]

{ 47 comments }

Peanut Butter Chocolate Tart

Holy wow! You lovely people read from all around the globe. I had no idea. How special. How awesome. Thank you thank you! I made you something kind of ridiculous. Think of it sort of like a thank you in form of chocolate and peanut butter. Best kind of thank you!

I’ve had this idea to make a gigantic Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup for a long time. I don’t eat a lot of candy. I don’t, but OMG do I love peanut butter cups. They’re my weakness when I go to the movies, but I never buy them because it makes me mad that they’re like $4 at the movie theater and $1 at the drug store. WHY? Movie theater prices are like mini-bar prices but less exciting. No turn down service. No housekeeping. LAME.

So, sometimes I sneak them in my purse. Sometimes I might even go to Chipotle before and sneak in a burrito. So what, who cares?!

[click to continue…]

{ 96 comments }

OMG coffee, I love you.

Raise your hand if you go to sleep dreaming about the next morning’s cup of coffee…

Raise your hand if you’re sort of a snob about coffee (and you don’t care who knows it)…

Raise your hand if you love coffee in baked goods…

If I were you, my hand would’ve been raised for all 3. What if coffee didn’t exist? What a sad thought. I was never one of those kids that didn’t like coffee. Pretty sure I was born loving it. In Latin culture it’s common to give kids a cup of café con leche early on. I think I had mine before the age of 10…and I loved it. I loved it so much that I wasn’t allowed to drink coffee at all until I was about 16. My parents didn’t want to stunt my growth. Turns their efforts were useless since I’m positive that I was destined to be the 5’1″ that I am. SADFACE!

Whatever. What’s awesome now is that I get to drink it all I want. Yay for being an adult!

[click to continue…]

{ 35 comments }

Wasn’t 4th of July kind of a weirdo this year? I mean, in the middle of the week? How awkward. No long weekend. No weekend getaways. I wonder if 4th of July feels a little weird about itself.

Or maybe it’s all sorts of proud that it gave people an awesome little mid-week break. Who knows! I spent the good part of the morning in my pjs putting brown butter and blueberries in cookies so, for me, it was kind of perfect.

I’ve now realized that brown butter very rarely doesn’t have a place in edible things. It never fails at making things better. Never. I think we should talk about these cookies. I love them…a lot.

[click to continue…]

{ 31 comments }