Uh-oh…this calzone shouldn’t be a calzone.
Nope. It totally should be a picture of a pizza…topped with layers of ricotta, melted mozzarella, cubes of roasted butternut squash and broccoli rabe. That was the plan.
This pizza was supposed to convince me that broccoli rabe isn’t this gross, bitter leaf situation…well that failed. I tried. I did. I blanched it, I sauteed it with garlic, seasoned it…even paired it with something like the butternut squash to offset its disgustingness. Didn’t work. It’s just gross. It just is.
I was gonna post it anyway, thinking some of you lunatics actually might like it…but I dunno…looking at the pictures of the pizza bummed me out, so I decided to turn the leftover ingredients (from the pizza) into something more awesome!!
Meet this calzone…
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Welcome to my experiment!! Wait, don’t leave; it’s not a food experiment, like, on you or anything. I wouldn’t do that. Let me explain…
I have food allergies. You’re allergic to a food thing or two, right? Please say I’m not the only one who feels like Macaulay Culkin in My Girl.
My current allergy list kinda sucks–sure it could be worse, but there’s a few bummers. My body turns on me when I eat things like truffles (sad!), all bleu vein cheeses like, gorgonzola, roquefort, stilton, etc. AND…sometimes mushrooms.
My body sometimes hates mushrooms…and sometimes it’s cool with them.
Usually I don’t take chances because I don’t really feel like dealing with some embarrassing twenty-minute sneezing situation. But yesterday…I was feeling brave.
And guess what?! My body totally loved these tacos. Which means your non-allergenic, normal body will too!
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Not sure if you all recall, but a few months ago a reporter asked Kate Moss what one of her favorite quotes was. She replied with: “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” Umm…isn’t that hilarious…and sorta sad? I mean, I’m grateful for her honesty. Thank heavens she’s not that skinny while scarfing down hamburgers and fries on a daily basis. I’m glad she came clean about depriving herself of all things awesome.
When I’m really super bored, I sometimes dream about what I would feed her. My first instinct is to whip her up some pancakes. Lots of them. But what I really think would make her to cave in are these Baked Portobello Fries with Basil Aioli. You see, the word “baked” means they’re healthy. I think she’d dig that. I mean, I did.
I saw them on a menu at this restaurant across town, but didn’t order them since I wasn’t in the mood for something fried. I was kinda feeling like Kate, so I ordered a whole pizza instead. I couldn’t stop thinking about them after that night, vowing to drive over there just for them, but it never worked out. That’s when I decided to take my craving/curiosity into my own hands and make them myself. And boy, am I glad I did.
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