Oats

When I worked in an office with dark carpeting, stark lighting, long meetings, cubicles galore and scary HR people, the thing that disturbed me the most was the instant oatmeal that everyone loved eating for breakfast.

I’d go into the kitchen and watch people as they would empty out oatmeal packets into those paper bowls…they’d fill them with hot water, stir in some splenda, tell everyone about their weekend trip to Yosemite, I’d act like I was paying attention (but totally wasn’t)…because I was busy…wondering if they were just addicted to the ritual of oatmeal-making, or if they actually liked microwaved, soggy stuff. So I’d wait for it…

They’d shove a spoonful in their mouths…and they always looked like they liked it. And then I’d stand there, perturbed and think to myself, Man, humans are such complicated creatures.

Are you one of these instant-oatmeal loving humans?!

If so..let’s chat. I want to understand you. You intrigue me.

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There are a lot of remakes going on in Hollywood right now. Every week there’s a movie coming out either based on a book, or a remake of a classic older film, which isn’t exactly my favorite thing. I am definitely the girl that will read a book, go to see the movie, and spend the entire time making a mental list of everything that they changed. When I saw the movie version of “The Phantom of the Opera” I could even tell you when they had changed individual words in the songs. Yes, it bothers me. If something is good, just leave it alone. I see no reason why some snotty director or writer needs to come along and “make their mark” on a classic. Basically, I’m a big fan of the phrase “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

Therefore it surprised even me when I decided to change up what is considered a Southern classic – peach cobbler. If you live in the South and manage to go an entire summer without eating a gallon of this, then you obviously live in some sad, dark cave and you have my sympathy.

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Like most girls, I’ve thought about what my wedding will be like….err maybe only once or twice (or three times). I think a farm wedding in the summer would be straight up dreamy;  with a barn, and tall grass, mason jars and fireflies–it’d be magic. It got me sort of thinking about how awesome it would be to have a petting zoo, too. A freakin’ petting zoo! How amazing would that be?!  Now, I usually have huge issues with petting zoos, because while I LOVE petting farm animals, I don’t really dig petting goats–they kinda suck.  I don’t get them. We don’t get each other.  And that’s usually all petting zoos consist of…that and random chickens that want nothing to do with you. Kinda boring.

So at my future wedding’s petting zoo, there will be animals I do wanna pet like dogs, cats, pigs, and miniature horses.  And I will pet them in between dances and knocking down champagne, and so will my guests.  It’ll be lovely.

And you know how you you’re supposed to give guests, like, a little gift bag or something? Well, I’d want to give the animals gifts too.  I’d probably give the pigs the leftovers from the reception, the miniature horses would get some sweet apples, I’d give the cats some private time…and the dogs, well, I’d make them these homemade treats.  I bet they’d really like them because I gave them a try and they’re not half bad. Sooo if your dog is peering over your shoulder as you’re reading this blog post, you can tell them this: these treats have a predominate peanut buttery taste, the texture is hearty and nourishing due to the rolled oats, and the finish has a lovely hint of coconut and chicken.  Yum!

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