Peanut Butter

Peanut Butter Chocolate Tart

Holy wow! You lovely people read from all around the globe. I had no idea. How special. How awesome. Thank you thank you! I made you something kind of ridiculous. Think of it sort of like a thank you in form of chocolate and peanut butter. Best kind of thank you!

I’ve had this idea to make a gigantic Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup for a long time. I don’t eat a lot of candy. I don’t, but OMG do I love peanut butter cups. They’re my weakness when I go to the movies, but I never buy them because it makes me mad that they’re like $4 at the movie theater and $1 at the drug store. WHY? Movie theater prices are like mini-bar prices but less exciting. No turn down service. No housekeeping. LAME.

So, sometimes I sneak them in my purse. Sometimes I might even go to Chipotle before and sneak in a burrito. So what, who cares?!

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I’m the hunt for my first adult couch. Up until now I’ve been living very college-like, mainly because I’d rather buy a pair of shoes or go to a new restaurant or save my money than sit on something nice and grown-up, BUT I’m changing!

I have this weird urge to be a grown-up and I’m thinking buying a piece of furniture might catapult me there. I now realize the only thing worse than shopping for a new apartment, bathing suit and health insurance is shopping for a new couch.

Can we say expensivo. Also: why?! Where’s the happy medium between Ikea and Awesome…at Ikea prices? I need to know this. If you have any affordable/adorable/expensive looking couch recommendations, I’m open! I wanna hear!

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We all love Larry David, right? I’m just going to speak for everyone, and say yes, yes we all love Larry David. Now, have you seen his recent parking lot fiasco? He’s confused by the parking lot ticket machine, people are honking, someone has to get out of their car to assist him–the whole thing is just incredible. It made me recall my very own, real life Larry David encounter, and omg did it not disappoint. It was Curb Your Enthusaism in real life. IRL!!!

STORY TIIIIIME!

A few Christmases ago, I was on a flight from LA to Miami. I got off the ridiculously packed flight, headed down to baggage claim and waited–along with the rest of the gajillion people that were on my flight. We waited, and waited, and waited some more. We waited so long that my dad got sick of driving around in circles and finally parked the car to join me in this epically long wait. As we were all learning this horrible lesson in patience, I looked up and noticed this really tall man with bushy grey hair, a wrinkled blazer, faded jeans and a worn baseball cap standing directly in front of me. It was Larry David. And he was looking around looking really, really confused.

A small latin man approached him and told him in broken English that he was his driver. Larry nodded. The driver motioned for him to go to wait in the car. And Larry, in his famous awkward disposition, was like, “Ok, ok, well you’re gonna get my luggage then?” The driver nodded.

Larry wasn’t done. He continued, “Ok, ok, well it’s gonna be the black suitcase. But they’re all gonna be black, so you have to check the tag. It’ll be the black one. Make sure you check the tag.” The driver nodded, obviously having done this a million times. Larry left…only to return, I’m not kidding you, like a minute later. He asked, “Which one is your car? The black one? Which black one?” The driver proceeded to tell him which black car was his. Larry left. Again.

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This is kind of an insane recipe title. I understand. I do.

You’re really supposed to be gawking at a fried fluffernutter sandwich, BUT when I posted the picture (above) on Instagram/Twitter, people started asking me if it was French toast. I was conflicted.

Do I fry these cute little heart shaped marshmallow things? Or do I just put it in a pan with a little butter? Sort of a no-brainer, right? Yes, total no-brainer.

French toast sounds healthier. We like this…even if it’s a total lie, we still like it. Also, if you want to be a total psycho, you can even have this for breakfast, rather than for dessert. I have no objections. Lastly, no hot oil.

Hot oil isn’t romantic; French toast is (I think?)…

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It’s Monday, which means you might be sleepy, irritable, yawning, napping under your desk, wearing mismatched socks…

Don’t worry. There’s popcorn…wrapped in peanut butter!

Last week I needed a new snack, so naturally I took to twitter. Nowadays, that’s totally the place I take all my questions to. Who invented the mini-post its? Ask Twitter.  Why does my foot get tingly when my foot falls asleep? Ask Twitter. How do I do a smokey eye? Ask Twitter.

When I asked about snacks, Twitter came back with suggestions of combining peanut butter with all types of fruit. Goood, goood. There were also lots of ideas on different ways to whip up popcorn. Like button!

A light bulb went off and I decided I’d be totally brills to combine the two: peanut butter and popcorn.

I thought I’d invented something fantastic, original even! ….until I googled it. And then found that the whole world knew about it…except me.

Whomp, whomp…

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Today we’re gonna learn how to make things you probably thought could only come from a store. The first is peanut butter. Peanut butter is delicious. Peanut butter: don’t ever change. Cause you’re amazing just the way you are. Next we’re going to take this peanut butter and make peanut butter oatmeal cookies, made popular first  by the Girl Scouts as a Do-Si-Do. See, we’ve already taken on Thin Mints, so it’s time to branch out a bit.

Let’s talk peanut butter. Specifically, let’s discuss how easy it is to make. Here’s the recipe in its entirety: you take peanuts, and put them in a food processor. Then you blend them until they become smooth and creamy. The End. I personally prefer to use honey roasted peanuts, cause nothing about “honey roasted” sounds like a bad idea to me.

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Like most girls, I’ve thought about what my wedding will be like….err maybe only once or twice (or three times). I think a farm wedding in the summer would be straight up dreamy;  with a barn, and tall grass, mason jars and fireflies–it’d be magic. It got me sort of thinking about how awesome it would be to have a petting zoo, too. A freakin’ petting zoo! How amazing would that be?!  Now, I usually have huge issues with petting zoos, because while I LOVE petting farm animals, I don’t really dig petting goats–they kinda suck.  I don’t get them. We don’t get each other.  And that’s usually all petting zoos consist of…that and random chickens that want nothing to do with you. Kinda boring.

So at my future wedding’s petting zoo, there will be animals I do wanna pet like dogs, cats, pigs, and miniature horses.  And I will pet them in between dances and knocking down champagne, and so will my guests.  It’ll be lovely.

And you know how you you’re supposed to give guests, like, a little gift bag or something? Well, I’d want to give the animals gifts too.  I’d probably give the pigs the leftovers from the reception, the miniature horses would get some sweet apples, I’d give the cats some private time…and the dogs, well, I’d make them these homemade treats.  I bet they’d really like them because I gave them a try and they’re not half bad. Sooo if your dog is peering over your shoulder as you’re reading this blog post, you can tell them this: these treats have a predominate peanut buttery taste, the texture is hearty and nourishing due to the rolled oats, and the finish has a lovely hint of coconut and chicken.  Yum!

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